Inside every pole dancer is a….
Initially, this entry started out as a sort of “what kind of pole dancer are you?” little thing, with the idea that we could categorize ourselves into little groups depending on what kind of things we say or do. But then, as I was writing it… it became apparent… that actually, we ALL have a little bit of each of these pole dancers in us, and maybe, no matter what we look like on the outside, we’re pretty similar on the inside! I hope you agree.
Thanks to Leen Isabel for the amazing illustrations to accompany this blog! She really interpreted my descriptions exactly as I saw them, she is truly a pro and such a pleasure to collaborate with. Check out her blog here, and connect with her on Facebook here.
Inside every pole dancer is a…..
- You know who the past three winners of USPDF are, and signature moves from each routine.
- You have at least one online wiki, dictionary, or glossary of pole moves bookmarked.
- You have taken multiple workshops with travelling instructors.
- You keep a pole journal and track your progress.
- You have a huge economy sized bottle of pole-safe lotion in your bathroom.
- You have gotten floorburn on your knees.
- You know the importance of wearing double-stick tape with your outfits.
- Your entire pole wardrobe fits in a shoebox. Except the shoes. They have a shelf of their own!
- You know of at least 3 different ways to do a body wave on the pole and 4 different booty bounces. And they’re all on your wish list of moves to learn.
- SEQUINSSSSS. CRYSTALLSSSS. GLITTERRRRR. A girl can’t have too much. And, you’ve definitely gotten crafty at home with at least one of those sparkly things listed.
- You watch Chinese pole videos for inspiration. You may not want to be a man, but you want to be able to do everything he does. Just as effortlessly. Especially that ridiculous true grip lifted handspring where your legs move in a circle and everything else stays in place.
- The description of that last move instantly made sense to you.
- A crashmat? Yes please. Or two. Two would be perfect, actually.
- There’s no such thing as too much grip.
- If you’re not sore for two days after a serious pole session, it wasn’t a serious pole session.
- You can snag pantyhose with the calluses on your hands. Not that you wear pantyhose. Those bruises are badges of honor! Who would cover them up?
- You work on your toe point.
- You really, really, really want to get better at spinny pole. Because it’s reeeeeally pretty.
- You can do three different types of pole pirouettes.
- Silks? Lyra? Yeah, you’ll try that.
- Ballet classes? Obviously you’ve already tried that.
- You have at least one pair of Foot-undeez, or you have gone fully MacGyver and folded over little socks so that they don’t cover your heel.
Tomorrow’s post: Tuesday Tunes…




So funny and so true ! Love it !
Thanks Cats
I love this post!
Thanks Gypsy, I love it too! The drawings are so cute
The description of that last move totally made sense to you…..Yep!!
Well, you’re like a wiki-pole yourself….
I am definitely the first two kinds of pole dancer! ( Even though yes I do silks…and agree about the soreness of a good pole session!) Love the illustrations.
I love Leen’s work, she’s so great!
I find this funny, because its true. I can match at least two of these to all the girls in the studio I go to; speaking of which, I’m a mix of 2 and 4. Like a 40/60 ratio.
Ha, I love the precision of the ratio.
Yea, I’m mostly #1 with equal parts of #2 and #4 thrown in. Maybe 50:25:25. Don’t relate to much of #3 – not a big Chinese Pole fan. But i can relate to “If you’re not sore for two days after a serious pole session, it wasn’t a serious pole session.” But that mostly applies to my workshops… Great Post! Very fun!! ^_^
Thanks Cayce. I think I’m an equal part of all four!
Can’t have too much grip….!
Oh so true, each and every point! Beautifully put and what great illustrations!
She did a fantastic job, didn’t she?
I love those illustrations! I think I’ve got some of each, and other unlisted “types”. My brain still likes to categorize for some reason. I have these pics labeled in my head Pole Geek, Vixen, Trickster, and Polerina. I think I relate most to geeking out over pole stuff but in a little different way.
Ha, I’m sure that when I was writing this I had those archetypes in my head too, I didn’t realize they fit so neatly!
You had me laughing all the way through this post and half the time I was saying “that is so me” I like the one about the pantyhose and bruises.