Glitter and Feathers
So the other day, I got a calgel manicure. That’s not anything new, but I was trying out a new place that can do fancier stuff then the place I usually go.
Before I went and got this manicure, I showed my boyfriend pictures of some of the things they can do, which I found on a random website. And I was freaking out inside, because I was so excited. Throughout the course of conversation with no less then three people that week, leading up to the appointment, I showed them the pictures at the slightest opportunity. Maybe we were talking about how nice the weather was outside, and I would say, “OH you won’t believe it, I’m so excited, look at the next manicure I’m getting!”
Yeah. No joke. I was out of control. So I showed my boyfriend these pictures and he literally looked at me, and watching me carefully, said, “oh. Babe. Really? Isn’t that too much?” This is a man who is supportive of everything I do. And when I showed him this manicure—okay, fine, it was feathers, they put feathers on your nails—he thought I was going over the deep end. I laughed, I said, “LOOK HOW PRETTY!” And then two days later I got exactly the feather manicure I wanted. I have become a woman who puts feathers on her nails. And glitter. Lots of really bright glitter. And on my toes, too. And I was thinking back, and realized how much pink I’ve been buying recently. And all these really girly dresses.
And it got me to wondering: what is it about pink, and feathers, and glitter, that is all of a sudden an obsession of mine? When did I go off the girly deep end? There isn’t anything wrong with it—don’t get me wrong. But it’s not the kind of thing I’ve really been that into. Especially pink.
Last night, one of my students was talking about how she wasn’t ready to come out of the “pole closet” to her guy friends yet, because she had told a couple of them and they had kind of laughed at her. And all of a sudden—WHOOSH! I jumped on this giant pedestal and started lecturing. I talked about how pole dancing brings changes. How you realize how strong you are, and how able you are, and you have all these little victories in class when you nail new things, and how you slowly begin to understand that you are able. Capable. And that inner strength and outer strength begin to transform the way you think about yourself. And the things you will put up with. And accept. And how, eventually, you will get to a point where a person’s reaction to your favorite hobby becomes a kind of litmus test. Not that you need to defend pole dancing—but if you hear that ring of judgment in a person’s reaction, you know. You just know. That person isn’t making it to your speed dial. Ever.
That story, about my student’s friends, laughing at her, made me MAD. Because how can you accept yourself, when you are surrounded by that kind of negativity? People deserve support. When they do something brave, and difficult, and hard for them, they deserve support.
I feel like pole dancing is one of the most unabashedly feminine, female things that I do. I don’t have to be hard, or be “masculine” or be stereotypically sexy to get where I want to go– I can be strong and a woman and soft and beautifully myself at the same time. And thanks to pole, I have developed a confidence that carries through into every aspect of my life. You want to know why I got feathers and pink glitter on my nails? Because I can. Because honestly, I don’t give a rat’s ass what anyone thinks about my manicure (and pedicure), because I know it makes me happy. If someone wants to judge me on something silly like that, then they can suck an egg. They’re not going on my speed dial, either. And you know why I love hot pink? Because it makes my tan look AWESOME. AWESOME. So, if I buy a ton of pink and wear it all at the same time, I CAN.
There is a tremendous freedom in having the confidence to act in a way that is true to yourself without fear of judgment. Maybe the lecture I gave my student didn’t sink in quite yet. But I hope that one day, it will. And she will realize, one day, that if she wants to do something crazy or silly or wild or categorically unlike the “usual” her… that it is a gift she gives herself. And screw what those stupid boys say.
The next post will be Monday due to July 4th holiday here in the USA : )…
I love you, Amy
Amen to all of that! My challenge is to be judicious with my soapbox hopping and not scare people off with my convictions. I feel so strongly about the culture of pole and its many benefits that it’s hard to contain myself! Good job on accepting your pink feathery side! (I have yet to fully embrace all that but I have no doubt it’ll happen.)
Hey Amy! I made an appointment at L for next week after seeing your pics on FB and I am so excited! I hope you don’t mind me copying – I e-mailed the manicurist your nails picture and just said “I want this!” Thank you for all of your inspirational posts – I have been reading for a month and just love your style
Yes! I don’t always feel completely confident about myself, but my confidence has made enormous strides since I started pole dancing! Sure, I have moments of weakness, but most of the time I feel amazing, strong, proud of what I can do and happy with how I look. I talk about pole with EVERYONE and have no qualms about showing off my photos. I forget sometimes how the rest of the world might perceive this, but most of the time I don’t care! But it still bothers me when my good friends (particularly guys) make comments that indicate that they still don’t quite get it. Come on Olympics! That’ll make it so much easier for us!
BTW lots of pink and feathery mani/pedi: you lost me completely. But good for you for doing what makes you feel fantastic!
hahaaaaaa!!! i, too, have a sudden obsession with ALL shades of pink!! my bf loves me in color ESP pink. ODD. i was NEVER into bright colors until……
if and when i do get an opportunity to shop for myself…. there would be a big rack of the same style clothing, but all different colors. and what color always catches my eye? pink, hot pink, petal pink, hot magenta, reddish pink, etc.
and you’ll never believe…. i wore a bikini for the first time EVERRRRR on tuesday!! and because of that, it made my bf take his shirt off for the first time, and he said, ‘so that’s what it feels like without a shirt.’ why? because we didn’t give a rat’s ass either!
Thank you for this, Amy. Pole has has absolutely been a transformative experience for me, and I would dare anyone to question me on its merits!
YES!!! Amy, I f*#@in’ love you! Me and my inner glitter-obsessed princess are totally high fiving you right now. Thank you!
I love the glitter and feathers. They’re appealing to everyone, it’s just that not everyone is brave enough to partake in glitter and feathers. Pole makes us brave. It makes us proud because when you start it’s so stinkin HARD! And we move from “No way, no how, not gonna happen” to… “Holy crap, I just did that!”. It’s our new-found capability that makes us want to share new dimensions of ourselves with the world. I’ve adopted neon everything. I routinely wear black or brown, long skirts, clogs, glasses… I look like a dowdy librarian every day of my life. Until 6 mos ago when I stared pole. my co-workers even made fun of me because I told them I was going to wear my glasses when I did it. (Of course, how else could I even see??) They shut up after I showed them photos of my first invert, and my prominent awesome abs.
OooooOOoooOo Glitter and feathers and Pink!!!! I Love being a Girly Girl!!!
I have more pink in my wardrobe the last few years than I ever did. I think it started with me and my hot pink pole. Nothing screams “girly” to me more than the color pink. And I am SOOOOOO not girly (as you well know). I wish I knew if a gel mani would hold up in a lab environment before forking over the $$ but I guess at some point I will have to bite the bullet. BECAUSE I CAN!!!!
Beautiful =*)
And so true!!!
This entry means a lot to me. I have OCD and anxiety, and even though I love to get my nails painted, picking a color is so taxing for me I hardly ever do it. And it boils down to “What will this color say about me? What will people think?” You know what? IT DOESN’T MATTER. I’ve gained such a confidence within myself since I started dancing. If something challenging comes my way I take a deep breath and think “You can do this. You’re a pole dancer.” All the support from my pole sisters has boosted my confidence in ways I would not have expected.
The other day I actually painted my nails. I did blue on one hand and green on the other, with harcore glitter on my pointer fingers. It made me happy. And the girls at work admired my “spunk.”
Little victories made possible by pole dancing.
And I love the feathers and glitter. Make yourself shine, Amy.
PREACH!!!
I love you, Amy. How is it you can so succinctly sum up my feelings about pole and myself?
And I agree with the pink thing. The last 6 months or so (since I REALLY got into pole and into a positive environment) I’ve been buying and wearing a lot of pink and glitter, too. Why? Because it’s girly and pretty and I like it. Maybe this shift has been because I no longer feel I have to prove that I’m capable. I KNOW that I am, and screw anyone that thinks differently, because they OBVIOUSLY don’t know me. It seems I associated Pink and Glitter and girly dresses with being Girly and, dare I say it, weak. But I no longer have that association. Yes, it’s girly, and so am I. If because I wear pink and glitter they think I am weak, well, that’s their issue.
Rock those pink Bad Kitty pole shorts! (And they really do make your tan look AWESOME.
This blog spoke so heavily to me. Pole has allowed me to own myself in a way I’d never experienced before. I feel free to act like a sexy siren while I also feel free to punch you in the face if you call me a stripper (not really, i would never do that, because I’m a lady, but they’d get a big ole’ bruise from my muscles. RAR.)
But, over and over again, I am amazed by the diversity of woman that lives in me.
I’m amazed by how feminine and vulnerable I’ve become since poling. Flowers in my house, flowers on my clothes, purple, pink, manis and pedis, and glitter everywhere (i work in the jail and REGULARLY have it stuck to clothing and/or skin and can’t help but laugh when I see it!) But, I also feel freer to feel lonely (and dance it out), and sad (and dance it out), and angry (and dance it out.) All of these emotions that made me look/feel out of control or too crazy, I now embrace as part of me. In doing that, I’ve become stronger (physically and personally), more confident, accepting, more alpha and just more comfortable.
I am constantly wanting to scream “I am woman, hear me roar” because for the first time, I feel the full capacity and diversity of strength and sexi that lives in me.
Let the beast unleash!
Yet again, you inspire and make me think! Being “bigger and built” since I was a tween contributed to my recently exorcised “hiding syndrome” and this post really clicked with me!
Thank you for always giving me a little extra to think about! I ADORE your nails! 
I wish I had learned this sooner but am grateful for having it now!
Before sensual movement, whether it was due to upbringing (repressed Catholic,LOL!) or simply the fact that I THOUGHT I wanted to “hide” physically and be more appreciated for intelligence than “frivolous” trappings of a lush-female.Lots of tailored and black…sweaters over everything…look at my eyes NOT my chest…take me seriously as a person and don’t hate me when I walk in the room “because..”
Sensual movement and the associated mentality and connection to other like-minded females really helped me to grow and become not only more secure but also gave me that “I don’t give a shit what you think of me because I KNOW what I am/can do” attitude! I think an evolution of confidence takes place that we finally “get” on a deeply personal level and we toss aside those sweaters and wear PINK with abandom because as you say…”we can”