Reflecting on 2012
I’ll be travelling to North Carolina, Texas, and Canada in January for workshops! If you’d like to sign up, please check out this link for all information.
Also, tickets for the Flight Club Pole Showcase in NYC are now on sale for our next show in February! If you’d like to support us, please buy a ticket and come to cheer on our performers. There will be an afterparty at the bar next door as well.
At the end of each year, I spend some time going through my calendar to see where the last 12 months went.
This year was a blur of transitions for me. I ended a long-term relationship, ended a long-term job, moved apartments, got a new job, started grad school, stopped teaching regular pole classes, flew over 25,000 miles teaching touring workshops, fell out of love with pole, and fell back in love with it. This blog became more popular than I had ever, ever thought it would and brought me amazing opportunities and more importantly, led me to meet amazing, inspiring women and studio owners all around the country that help me to keep my passion and sense of true community alive.
If I am being completely honest—and I always have been, so why stop now, right?—2012, from a pole perspective, forced me to really internalize a few things.
While I have a voice in the international network of pole dancers, that voice can be a heavy responsibility. You can categorize things, events, people, whatever, as good or bad, but as long as you learn from them, and bring yourself one step closer to acting with compassion and honesty in all that you do, they leave you better off than you were. People are all fallible, they have bad judgment, they make mistakes. We don’t all have to agree. We don’t all have to be friends and sing kumbaya. We don’t even all have to like one another, and if you have your eyes open and watch carefully, you will see things that bother you, upset you, or that you morally or ethically disagree with. Learning how to accept and deal with them and not let them drag you down—that is a skill in and of itself.
The difficulty of finding a little niche that you can sit in happily may be a tough job. You may be the only booty popper in a room full of balletic. You may be the only one who likes to do athletic in a room full of emo. You may be the only one who wants to wear heels in a room full of modern dance. The responsibility of a teacher, studio, or dancer is to honor what makes them unique, what they do best, and what is in their heart—and the values and identity of those three entities may never align. You may not fit in at your studio, you may not fit in at your class, but being different—while difficult—means that you should never compromise who you are, because what you have is special and unique. By honoring our differences, we elevate and expand what is possible. You can pole dance to become exactly like someone else, but then you will never be happy. You can never dance like anyone else as well as you can dance like yourself.
Relatedly—I am responsible to myself to make sure that I take whatever steps I need to in order to keep my relationship with pole healthy and happy. It was a tough year to be a non-trained dancer who isn’t all that bendy, dabbling in pole “recreationally” and not feel a little down in the dumps sometimes about myself!! I need to remind myself to keep a positive mental attitude, to avoid comparison with others, to invest time and energy in exploring types of movement and strengthening and training that will keep pole fresh and fun and new for me, 6 years after my first fireman spin. I need to push myself out of my comfort zone to work on my weaknesses, and also learn how to expand on my strengths and individuality. It’s not the responsibility of any one studio, or any one instructor—it is my job, as a student, to be an open-minded and excited learner. And as a teacher, being a good learner—one who is passionate about pole—becomes even more important.
What is the biggest takeaway you have learned from this past year? Was there a life or pole revelation that you had? Was there a pole goal you accomplished, or want to set for next year? Did you have a favorite blog entry? Please share in the comments!
I loved this entry! This year I fully realised how much the camaraderie of pole class/community meant to me as I continue to struggle through a tough time at work. I accomplished my goal of being “competition-ready” and even though I didn’t place in the second one I really enjoyed myself and want to do more. I think my pole challenge for next year will be to push past what I am feeling as a plateau in my pole learning while trying not to worry about how super-accomplished ( bendy/crazy-strong toe-pointy) everyone else is getting! And I can’t just pick one entry, Amy, your blog is consistently awesome
Happy 2012 and I look forward to seeing you again in 2013!
I thought all your posts were awesome
I think my favorite if I had to pick one would be “For the love of pole”. I love that pole has taken off but at the same time everyone is so in a hurry to get to the super advanced stuff instead of just enjoying the journey in dance…that is what dance is all about..there is no destination. So I find it challenging as teacher and studio owner to encourage people to slow down and enjoy everything pole has to offer….I got into pole dance over 7 years ago. I saw Sheila Kelley on Oprah (she inspired me to open my studio) and I definitely saw the physical benefits but I loved the confidence that she portrayed on the show…she was so in love with herself. That is what drew me into pole personally. I know everyone get into this for different reasons but I loved that aspect of it. So sometimes I have to remind myself from time to time that this is a journey. I love pole tricks, setting goals, and challenging myself but I love to dance more and I am ok with that. Its hard sometimes to not get overwhelmed with keeping up with all the new pole tricks but I have just learned to slow down and work on them when I feel like it. So now I am much happier with pole when I approach it this way.
Thanks for your posts Amy. I truly look forward to each and everyone of them.
Sincerely,
Angela
PoleLaTeaz Atlanta
[...] I am. I have a terrible habit of pushing myself past what’s healthy. Aerial Amy wrote a fabulous blog post that resonated with me: You may not fit in at your studio, you may not fit in at your class, but [...]
I think my biggest take away from this year with pole is patience. I am someone who usually gets things pretty fast, so it can be quite frustrating when I don’t get something right away because I am not strong enough to do it yet. And also I realized that I am a very athletic dancer, and at my studio the girls are more “pretty and sexy” so realizing that it is really ok to be different, and to appreciate everyones take on a pole has my take away. I hope everyone is well and has a happy new year!!
This past year has seen me embrace aerial silks alongside pole. I have learnt so much, gained so much strength; yet I wasn’t making progress in pole, in fact I went backwards. Entering a competition really highlighted this for me, and made me realize that I need to give up teaching for now and take a year off for me and my personal growth. Maybe I’ll come back to it (I LOVE teaching) but for now, I’m just enjoying being a student again!
Amy, I noticed you mentioned you had ended a long term relationship in 2012. I did as well, and I was wondering if you had planned on/or already had written about how pole may have helped, or your boyfriends standpoint on it… Just wondering, as someone that relates, I’d love to hear!
PS, welcome back to TX!!!
Hey Jonna… can you elaborate a little more on what you mean? Our breakup didn’t have anything to do with pole dancing, but pole dancing has helped me to have the confidence to assert myself more.